People of Walmart

Honest,  I just could not stop flipping through the pages. It just keeps going and going.

Names Forever Used Up

Some names are forever used up. It is difficult to give a child those names in our society. They include, but I am sure are not limited to:

• Adolf
• Elvis
• Jesus
• Oprah
• Tiger
• Barack

Do you know any other names in this category?

American Airlines – Ludicrous Reservation System

I need to travel to Tallahassee, Florida from Southern California. When I didn’t find a decent connection from San Diego, I tried Ontario, an airport conveniently located for us as an alternate. Here is what it came up with:

1292 07:55 AM ONT 12:53 PM DFW	$854	$1458	$2997	$2422	$4000
2459   04:50 PM DFW 05:55 PM LAX
1254   09:15 PM LAX 05:18 AM MIA
4516   07:20 AM MIA 08:40 AM TLH

I get to fly out of Ontario at 7:55 in the morning, go to Dallas, spend 5 hours at the airport,  only to fly back to LAX so I can leave again from LAX, 100 miles west of Ontario, to go to Miami on the red eye. Heck, I could drive to LAX in the evening and park my car there and get there a day faster.

And if I were to book a first class ticket, it would cost $4,000 for the privilege of being caught in airline hell for a full 24 hours.

Here is an example of an automated system going completely amuck.

Senator Grassley’s Tweets – Juvenile

Senator Grassley is a frequent Twitter contributor. According to MSNBC:

Grassley’s first tweet:

“Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us ‘time to deliver’ on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.”

A short time later:

“Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a ‘hammer’ u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL.”

Sorry Senator. You are a United States Senator, not a rocker or a high school kid. This makes you look juvenile. Do you really want us to take you seriously?

Cheap Watch from Forbes

I like to read Forbes Magazine enough to subscribe to it occasionally when I get a good offer, like $20 for a year. Then, when it comes time to renew, and they want normal pricing, I abandon them, only to be lured again a year or two later with another introduction. I am sure I have done this 15 times over the last 30 years. 

Cheap Watch from Forbes

This time I subscribed and all of a sudden I get this cheap watch in the mail.

I am not a good  photographer, and I have no ambition to be one either, so this picture is the best I could do for a close-up. But you get the idea. It came with little piece of paper that gave instructions:

Analog Quartz Instructions:

Time Setting:

Pull crown out and turn in either direction to set correct time. Then push crown in and second hand will begin moving. Please note your watch is battery operated and should not be wound.

I followed the instructions. Of course, I am old enough to have had analog watches when I was a kid, so I knew intuitively how to set the time. I guess the iPod generation would not know what to do with the little crown.

But here is the kicker: I pulled the crown, and the whole thing came off. The little stem was broken off. After a cuss word, I tried to stick it back in and sure enough, it still worked to set the time.

Not only does the watch look cheap, with its imitation leather armband and the fake gold housing, it is so cheap that the crown comes out when you pull on it.

I don’t get it. What was Forbes thinking? Thumb through Forbes and it’s full of ads for Rolex watches and private jets and golf resorts in expensive locations. None of the people interested in those ads would ever wear such a watch. Why did they send it to me? What do they think I am going to do with it?

If I wore watches, I’d have a good one and I’d have no use for this trash. But I don’t even wear watches. Did I perhaps respond to a teaser that offered a “free watch” and they actually think I just took the magazine so I’d get the watch?

Somebody at Forbes hired some dufus for a marketing genius, and the guy is blowing millions of dollars on junk to mail to their subscribers. Not only is the stuff useless, it actually motivates the recipients to take pictures of it and post it in blogs.

Airlines and Obesity

I usually board airliners early. I get out my magazines and books, and I start reading, while the other passengers still get on the plane. I prefer window seats, first because I like to look out, but also because  I hate getting bumped into by people filing onto the plane, swinging their backpacks and suitcases into my shoulders.

I look up and I see a really fat guy coming my way, and I just know he’s going to sit right next to me. I don’t know how he makes it into the seat, and then he spills over on both sides, well into my space.

I feel every one of his breaths because his shoulders press into mine. I move forward, sitting on the edge of the seat, so I don’t have to constantly touch the guy. It’s going to be a long and miserable flight.

This article shows efforts in Canada to deal with this problem.

I volunteer. I’ll be the butt measurer.

Did Joe Haldeman Know About Palin?

The science fiction novel The Coming by Joe Haldeman was first published in the year 2000. The story plays in the near future, around 2050. “The Cube” is their version of our TV. Read on page 59:

Deedee nodded wearily. Carrie LaSalle, president of the United States, made Governor Tierney look like an intellectual. A completely artificial product of her party’s analysts and social engineers, she gave the people exactly what they wanted: a cube [TV] personality who was nice to the core, a gift for reading lines and a suitably inoffensive personal history. She was an anti-intellectual populist who had presided over four years of stagnation in the arts and sciences, and had just been reelected.

If Palin were indeed elected president, she would clearly be a product of her party’s analysts and social engineers, she would give her people what they wanted (a moose-hunting hockey mom that goes to church, you betcha), She would preside as an anti-intellectual populist (heaven forbid, we can’t be studying fruit flies) and she would certainly cause stagnation in the arts and sciences a la George Bush.

Maybe we need a constitutional amendment to require a minimum IQ of 132 to become president?

I Promise, I Will Drink Every Day

Bluetooth and “Deck the Halls”

This just in from my AFS friend Becky:

Well – ya’ know, ya gotta have a sense of humor!

 

Today on my way home I had my bluetooth on  – being a good girl – when I heard this unfamiliar sound coming from it.  Then someone tried to call me – it was my brother-in-law in Washington.  He said – “Did you just try to call?”  I hadn’t – then realized I’d been singing along with my Christmas CD to “Deck the HALLS.”  Hall is his last name!

 

We chuckled and I said I guess I better not sing anymore while my bluetooth is in – he said – NA – just keep track of how many people you can get ahold of just by singing.

 

It may lose a little in the telling – but it was a little telling just about me.

 

Have a GREAT DAY – and don’t forget to SING!  Becky

Magnetic Field or Black Bean Sauce

Ok, this linked to “Cost of War – Take Four” and I could not resist.

Magnetic Field.

The linguist in me had to read down - this is what happened – thanks Wesley:

Wesley

자장(jajang) can mean both ‘magnetic field’, which is more commonly written as ‘자기장(jagijang)’, and ‘black bean sauce’, commonly but wrongly written as ‘짜장(jjajang)’, which is what it was supposed to mean in the picture.

밥(bap) means steamed rice. So the correct translation would be ’steamed rice with black bean sauce’.